A Conversation with My 16 Year-Old Self

This summer, one of my cousins had this great idea for her daughter's 16th birthday. She asked her family and friends to write her daughter a letter. The letter had to address two things. The first thing was what you wished someone had told you at 16 and the second, was advice to a brand new 16 year old. When I first saw the request, my mind went bonkers. What would be the most important thing I could share? After all, it had been decades and lot of life experiences since I was 16.

Of course, I waited until the day before her birthday to actually sit down and write something. I tried to keep it short. But, what do you say to a 16 year old without raining on her parade? Or, without sounding like 'life is a box of chocolates' sappy about the future? We all know there will be trials. I know I had so many I couldn't even bear to start counting. But, the good thing is, I got through them. Most of us get through them. And, the other thing, would I have listened if anyone had given me the play by play book to succeed in life? Ah, probably not.

Well, I could tell you what I wrote her, but my imagination kicked in, and I decided to play act the whole thing instead. So here's my version of my conversation with my 16 year old me!

OLD ME:  Dilsa, Dilsa, Dilsa. You are a very talented young woman. And what's so great is that you have so many talents. But, the problem is, you have so many talents you are scattered. Have you given any thought to what you would like to do with your life?

16 YR OLD ME: I want to dance.

OLD ME:  Okay, you are good at that.

16 YR OLD ME:  No, I want to be an artist.

OLD ME:  Yes, you are a very talented artist.

16 YR OLD ME: No, wait. I like to tell stories. I want to write. I want to become a writer. No, no. Maybe a singer.

OLD ME: I have heard you sing. You can carry a good tune.

16 YR OLD ME:  No, an actress. I'm creative. I have a creative soul.

OLD ME: Hmmm. Sounds to me like you a scattered soul. See what I mean. Out of all those things, what is it that stops time for you? What is it that you really, really love to do, can't live without?

16 YR OLD ME:  I don't know.

OLD ME:  Think about it. How do you feel when you do each of these things? What makes you the happiest?

16 YR OLD ME: When I dance I create stories in mind. The same thing when I paint and draw. I see a story setting that I’m painting for. And, when I sing, I see the song’s story really clear and I can actually feel the emotions of the song.

OLD ME: Sounds like a trend or pattern going on. Don’t you think? Storytelling. Why don’t you focus on storytelling?

16 YR OLD ME: Not a lot of storytellers make a lot of money. I mean not all writers are like Stephen King and Barbara Taylor Bradford. Most writers are like most artists, poor, broke and hungry.

OLD ME: Where did you get that idea?

16 YR OLD ME:  My parents mostly. They think of the artistic type as loose, druggies, poor, broke, and well just not something not to aspire to.

OLD ME: And what do they want you to be?

16 YR OLD ME: An accountant or a teacher. Something like that.

OLD ME: I know you don’t want to disappoint your family, but what do you want to do?

16 YR OLD ME: I know I don’t want to be stuck in a room filled with kids all day, that’s for sure. I would go insane. And even though I’m good with numbers and stuff, accounting is BORING.

OLD ME: Can I give you some advice?

16 YR OLD ME: Sure.

OLD ME: Listen carefully. This may make the difference between being happy and successful, or broke and poor-spirited, okay?

16 YR OLD ME: Okay.

OLD ME:  Number One. Follow your dreams. If writing or anything else you choose stops time, or eliminates time from your perspective, HOLD onto it. Now when I say stops time, I mean when you get so caught up in what you are doing in that moment, that time becomes irrelevant, you have found something that sparks your soul. You have found something that you love.

Number Two. It’s real important that you remember this. You can’t make other people happy by not following your dream. You are afraid you are going to disappoint your family. I get that. But, their disappointment won’t begin to cause the emptiness inside you that your own disappointment will. You have to ask yourself, which would you rather live with?

Number Three. Beware of empty spaces. Yes, there will be an emptiness created, a void, that life will do its best to fill with something if you don’t follow your dream. Just like a weed fills the empty crack in the sidewalk, life will try to replace your joy with something else. That something else can pose a real danger to you. It could be something really bad or something that is just as bad for you. Some people fill voids with alcohol, drugs, or the wrong, negative people. Others fill those voids hiding behind their work becoming workaholics. So AVOID the VOID. Follow your dream.

Number Four. Stay focused on your dream and prepare for it. A wise man and many after him said in so many ways, you become what you think about. So you should stay focused, think about writing, learning as much as can about writing, and then write, write, write. The world will unfold a writing career just for you. Be careful though, you will have to make a decision on the kind of writing you want to do, or the universe will decide for you.

For instance, I have said so many times I can’t count, that I want to write for a living from home. So guess what I do, I write policies, operations manuals, and twenty million emails a day from home, that is when I am not on the road to do the same. It occurred to me a couple of years ago, my dream of becoming a writer was actually fulfilled. Just not exactly how I imagined it when I was your age, because I really had no focus on what kind of writer I wanted to be. So whether you want to write stories, become a journalist, or a blogger, stay focused in that direction; and never stop being prepared for the opportunity to write.

Number Five. Last but not least, and probably the most important tip I can give you. Always listen to that still small voice inside you. For it is your guide to great things. Hang in there kid.

Happy Belated 16th Birthday to My 16 Year Old Self!!!

Almost Broken in A State of Perfection

I try to fill every day with gratitude for all my blessings great and small, and even for those things that don't appear to be blessings at the time. My arm is healing, but still sore and its movement still limited to a degree. However, this experience has made me so thankful and appreciative of my body and its capabilities. It has also made me even more empathetic with those who deal with chronic limitations, especially those who deal with those limitations by not allowing themselves to be limited.

Each day presents a new challenge, but less challenging than the other. This situation reminds me that God watches over us, and is with us always. Nothing in this Universe is almost broken, like my arm was. Everything is in a state of perfection always working toward our good, whether or not we are able to recognize it or whether or not we know the outcome for ourselves or someone else.

Being Happy, Being Healthy, Being Loved

What else could anyone want out of life except a state of being happy, being healthy, and being loved? Sure, we fool ourselves into thinking it’s wealth that we want, and some of us even crave fame. There is no denying wealth makes it easier to be happy though. You don’t have to worry about bills, housing, or food. A wealthier you could even mean a healthier you by making it easier to afford the best medical care.  But, can wealth bring you love? No, love is so basic and so naturally evolving, nothing else matters. The impoverished is loved as much as the wealthy by spouses, children, friends, and family. That would make love the true source of wealth and our very existence. There is something or someone so Infinite, so immense in nature that It created love through the mere radiance of its existence. This Infinite power, most of us refer to as God, has powered within each of us that most prevalent and easily shared emotion called love. Okay, this may sound sappy or not, but love is the resolution to all of our worldly problems. Love can connect us, create harmony, and establish peace with our neighbors and in the world community. Imagine world leaders caring so deeply for their constituents and fellow world dwellers that they would not wage war. They would share the philosophy of “do no harm.” Imagine no one becoming a terrorist because of whom or what they hate; instead they would become peacemakers by loving and respecting others’ differences. Imagine waking up in the morning and hearing the last evening’s news repeating over and over how great and wonderful the world is. There is an abundance that is available to everyone. All you have to do is open your arms and your hearts. Being happy, being healthy, and being loved could turn our world into a true heaven on earth. So spread some love.

 

“A flower cannot blossom without sunshine, and man cannot live without love.” Max Muller

“We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it.” John Lennon

Your World, Your Words

Sitting here next to my new grandson, I wonder what his world will be like when he grows up. I wonder what words will define his future. Who will speak words to him that will inspire him and make him feel invincible? What words will he hear to make him feel less than he is? As a writer, I know the power of words in a story line. However, as a human, I know the power of words in our lives.  Words have the power to create or to destroy, to unify or to divide, and to build foundations of success or failure, even happiness or misery.

Looking back on my life, I can remember words spoken to me that made me doubt myself and words spoken to me that made me feel like I could do anything. In many instances, I can even remember who spoke those words. That’s why as I look at this innocent life, I pray the words I speak to him will never cause him to hurt, to doubt, or experience pain, but only cause him comfort, joy, and inspiration. 

Growing up as children, we believe every word spoken to us and our worlds begin to develop around those words. For instance, if we grew up hearing how wonderful and how beautiful we are, we have more confidence than the children who grew up hearing nothing positive about their attributes or characteristics. Thus, these words affected the outlook and reaction to the world they live in. 

The creation of our worlds doesn't stop there. As we all mature and become adults, words continue to shape our worlds: past, present, and future. Since our worlds are shaped by our own minds, thoughts, and beliefs, we have the responsibility to ourselves and to others to use our words wisely. Always remember the power of words and remember words become thoughts, thoughts become actions, and actions create outcomes that design your world.

So for the sake ourselves and our little ones, live by these words: Happy Words! Happy World!

Making Up My Mind to Just Do It!

Anything worth having or worth accomplishing is worth the persistence. Keep on pushing on!

Right Thinking Gets it Done

"The right thought, plus the right people, in the right environment, at the right time, for the right reason, always produces the right result." John Maxwell, Thinking for a Change

A Determined Woman Will Always Succeed

"The definition of a successful person is simply an ordinary person with extraordinary determination. You cannot keep a determined person from success. If you place stumbling blocks in her way. She will take them for stepping-stones and will use them to climb to new heights. The one who succeeds has a goal, a dream, and makes her plans and follows them." ~ Mary Kay Ash

Corporate Addiction

I am a woman who has a lot of pans in the fire, constantly on the move and constantly working to bring my dreams to fruition.  But, I recently noticed something about my personality that made me wonder if I have a disease that I am likening to corporate addiction.  The symptoms are like those released prisoners with an institutionalized mentality.  You have heard of them.  They are so addicted to the institutionalized life that as soon as they are released, they do something to go right back to prison.   Their act of crime is done with the intent to be caught and to go back to the life with the comfort of a ritual, being told what to do, knowing what to expect, and when.  Without a doubt, that is a disease of the mind and of a spirit that is afraid to take control of its own life.  Well, how does that relate to corporate addiction?  Simply put, having control of your own time. 

Time is what made me think of it as a corporate addiction, because every time I get the chance to manage my own time to work harder and smarter toward what I really believe I want, I tie my time up with another corporation.  I won’t name names of corporations, nor am I writing this to complain.  Just wondering how many people on earth are in the same boat.  We talk about our dreams and how we don’t have time to pursue them, yet we can’t cut the corporate ties.  Yes, corporations pay us and pay some of us better than others, but are we happy?  Do we prefer to complain how the 9 to 5 job is really a 9 to 9 or longer?  Do we like the hype of complaining to each other about our long hours?  Is it preferable to regret lost time with family, lost sleep, and lost time?  Maybe, instinctively we harbor spirits of fear and don’t really believe our affirmations and dogged determination will manifest into the life that we secretly or not so secretly want.  Just asking. 

As I look within and without, I know that money manifests into the life style we know, just like the lifestyle the institutionalized prisoner knows.  But, when do we cut the ties and release, let go.  Isn’t that what the greats or so many people who run their own businesses do?  They step out on faith, believe in themselves, see the bigger picture, and untie themselves to someone else’s dreams and expectations.  Where would Ford be without Henry?  Where would Microsoft be without Bill?  They were addicted to no other corporations than their own.

It occurs to me as I think more and more about this that our economy would probably be at its greatest, if more of us had their faith and their drive.  Perhaps even the elimination of poverty could be possible if everyone had an attitude of self-sufficiency that was based on the belief in their own talents and abilities.  Or, perhaps, this is the direction the next evolution of commerce is taking, the entrepreneurial revolution replacing the information revolution that replaced the industrial that replaced the agricultural.  We are all here for a purpose to help each other, but the best way we can do that is to help ourselves.  So my recommendation, if you see yourself a victim of your own corporate addiction, is to open that business you are dreaming about.  Have faith.  I do.  So, I’m still tied to corporations and rules, but I am still tossing those pans around in the fire as I build my own corporate world. 

As I build my bridge to freedom, I hope to help others take control wherever they can.  In my recent book, A Comprehensive Guide to Finding the Right Doctor, I share tips on controlling your choices in healthcare providers.

Union Daily Times - Book signing called a success

Union Daily Times - Book signing called a success

Union Daily Times - Author to sign new book at Carnegie this Saturday

Union Daily Times - Author to sign new book at Carnegie this Saturday

Rained in at Sea Island

I know, I know, rained in sounds like a bad thing, but it isn’t.  Can you imagine just sitting in lush, green surroundings, enjoying the stillness as the sound of trickling, okay occasionally down-pouring rain falls outside?  Your view is perfect and it is so peaceful, regardless of the gray outlook?  One of the activities I had been looking forward to was canceled due to the heavy rain, but I’m okay with that.  I haven’t been on a horse since my 20’s and I was a little apprehensive about the temperament of the horse I would get.  I have fond memories of my cousin’s horse who would take you straight back to the stables whenever the whim hit him, whether you wanted to or not.  I was on him one time for that full gallop back home because he got tired of wandering around the hills of Saddle Brook, NJ.  But, I was going to give it a try.   Sea Island has a way of giving you that extra little bit of courage.

We were staying at the very seductive, very historically-drenched hotel just above Brunswick, about an hour south of Savannah on a little piece of heaven called The Cloister.  It’s beautiful.  Just a few miles after crossing the bridge, you wind down little tree covered roads dripping with moss.  Then you drive slowly into the compound on the cobblestone roads and exit your car into buildings reminiscent of old Spanish mansions, decorated with tapestries and paintings of southern charm. 

When we arrived at our room, we were pleasantly surprised to find that the room was as big as the pictures online.  Pleasantly surprised, I say, because I have felt cheated on many occasions.  So many hotels use panoramic pictures to display their rooms and lobbies.  Sadly, when I had arrived at those other hotels, I found I barely had enough room to turn around.  Not here.  The bedroom with its cathedral ceiling was more than enough room with a sitting area and an ample patio.  I have taken pictures, but they don’t do it justice.  We have a view of Black Banks River, but can walk to the beach in less than five minutes.  Something I didn’t get a chance to enjoy, though walking in the rain did sound romantic and adventurous, just like riding horses.  But, it was a little too cold for that walk in the pouring rain, though it is normally warmer this time of year in Sea Island.  So off I galloped happily to the restaurants, and then to the spa.

I ate heartily a nice shrimp omelet laden with spinach, gruyere, and other stuff that was absolutely delicious at the Georgian.  But, I didn’t stop there.  After exploring St. Simons Island, the neighboring paradise, I went for my Stone and Scent massage.  Ladies and gents, I think I had an out of body experience!   I don’t ever recall being so relaxed before.  Perhaps my surroundings helped, but the masseuse was the best.  I have been to massage establishments in Atlanta.  Some with very big names, and very big promises, but they didn’t have ‘Roderick.’  This man has an absolute gift to relax every muscle in my body to the point that I felt like a drunk when I tried to stand up.  My body said lay back down; your muscles aren’t in the mood to walk right now.  So guess what?  I obeyed. 

My pleasures didn’t stop there.  Of course not!  The Cloister has more than one excellent restaurant. Later I would enjoy a grilled red snapper that melted in my mouth at the Tavola, its charming Italian restaurant.  Need I go on?  The food was fabulous, even from the limited menu at the River Bar.  I can highly recommend this five star hotel on the beautiful Sea Island. It deserves every star.  The staff is incredibly solicitous.  They make it a point to make you want for nothing.  Kudos all the way around, I can grant them a five star review for my stay at The Cloister.  So, in the famous words of Arnold Schwarzenegger, “I’ll Be Back.”

LW!'s The Author's Hideaway!: REVIEW: Dreams Thrown Away by Dilsa Saunders Baile...

LW!'s The Author's Hideaway!: REVIEW: Dreams Thrown Away by Dilsa Saunders Baile...: Date:                    1/29/13                Title:                     Dreams Thrown Away Author:                Dilsa Saunders Ba...

LW!'s The Author's Hideaway!: REVIEW: Split Images by Dilsa Saunders Bailey

LW!'s The Author's Hideaway!: REVIEW: Split Images by Dilsa Saunders Bailey: Date:                    2/4/13                Title:                     Split Images Author:                Dilsa Saunders Bailey   ...

What Did the Writers Digests' Judge Have to Say about The Sperling Chronicles?

The Sperling Chronicles, Dreams Thrown Away, is a high energy book with a lot happening to this family, including tragedy, violence, and world-wide celebrities. The heroine is the best thing about the book. Kali, although mistreated and violated in many ways, always maintains her center. The reader pulls for Kali to survive this dysfunctional family and the tragedy that happens to her when her twins are born. And she does, for a while, marrying a steady, well-grounded man, who unfortunately eventually treats her poorly. Still, Kali is a larger than life heroine with whom the reader can identify, and her struggles and successes make for an interesting read.

This book has it all, the attractive heroine, and the larger than life "hero" if Ashton can be called that, and all the necessary bit players. It has the settings and the characters that make it an entertaining book. Altogether, a book worth reading.

SPLIT IMAGES, The Sperling Chronicles, is a fast paced book with interesting characters and a fascinating on-going story. I particularly liked the plot idea of the twin brothers, with one taking the other's place and the other (the real Ashton) left for dead. He returns as Lazarus, raised from the dead. I particularly liked the beginning, which told me this was going to be a fun read. "You idiots, this thing's alive!. (Speaking of Ashton's almost dead body.) I also appreciated the short chapters. I felt as though I were flying through the book, with each chapter going by quickly with no unnecessary narrative to slow the action.

On the whole, it was a fun book. Congratulations.

Both books are available online at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Lulu, iBookstore, and most online retailers in eBook and Print format.  For autographed copies, order from this site or Good Show Publications.

Released on Kindle - A Comprehensive Guide to Finding the Right Doctor

 This book, A Comprehensive Guide to Finding the Right Doctor, is great for:

• Anyone who has or plans to relocate!
• Anyone not satisfied with their current doctor!
• Anyone who has a need for a specialist for a second or third opinion!
• Anyone who is curious about what your hospital or health plan knows about your doctor!
• Organizations who want to empower their staffs during benefits enrollments!
• You!

Get your copy on Kindle today! 

Pre-Order your print copy for the upcoming late January release at Good Show Publications.   

Download the FREE companion tool to help you track your health concerns, medical records, and prescriptions, in addition to recording your health-related questions to discuss with your doctor or notes about the type of doctor you are looking for.  This is a comprehensive tool that you can use with the Comprehensive Guide.  Make your decision today or become educated on how you can! 

Written by Dilsa S. Bailey, CPMSM, a Healthcare Credentialing Expert.

Coming Soon!!! A New Non-Fiction Release

A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO FINDING THE RIGHT DOCTOR

Tips from a Healthcare Credentialing Expert

by Dilsa S. Bailey, CPMSM

Choosing the right doctor for you could lead to a life or death decision.  How would you know if your professional healthcare provider has the adequate experience or education to care for your health?  This expert offers a few tips to help you choose the best qualified and the best suited doctor to meet your healthcare needs.  Her tips include:

• What hospitals and health plans know about your doctor.
• What you should know about your doctor’s experience and history.
• How to define the characteristics of the doctor you want and the characteristics you don’t want.
• Resources for helping you make your decision.
• Resources to help you control your medical care.

This is a must read for anyone who is searching for the right doctor.  If you are not, the next time someone asks you for a recommendation, tell them to pick up a copy of this informative resource guide.

To keep abreast of the release date in early 2013, sign the guest book on my official website.   Order Now at www.goodshowpublications.com!
 

 

A First for Me - The Beautiful City of Charleston

Wow, two new firsts for me yesterday.  One, I finally made it to Charleston, SC.  Having made the trip for business and only having the luxury of about four hours there, I was impressed.  Savannah, one of my favorite walking cities, may have to move over and make room for Charleston on my annual visiting schedule.  The historic flavor, the open air market, and the beautiful view of the water were all I needed to see to make sure I return for pleasure next time.

 The second first for me was the item on my plate at the Fleet Landing Restaurant there on Concord overlooking the waterfront.  While relaxing on their outdoor deck watching dolphins play and being surprised by greedy birds that weren't afraid to land close to our tables looking for crumbs, I enjoyed my first taste of Triggerfish.  I'd never heard of it before, but it was absolutely delicious.  It was served on a fresh toasted roll with avocado aioli, pepper jack, lettuce and tomato.  My mouth is watering thinking about it.  I'm definitely going back to Charleston, maybe even back to the Fleet Landing restaurant.  All of the food was great and the staff was friendly. 

 There were so many restaurants to choose from, and so much history to trace whether it was where the first shot in the Civil War was fired or where my ancestors were sold on the auction block.  I could feel the spirits beckoning to me explore.  Now I have to decide whether I want to explore during a festival, like the Gullah Festival or come back when it's quietly charming like it was yesterday when I can watch the basket weavers up close and personal without competition.  All I can say now is that the variety was absolutely exciting.  So, look out Charleston, I will be back. 

 

Coming Soon!!!

The Sperlings have taken a vacation while their author wrote another book.   Kali needed the breather after a harrowing adventure with the dangerously, handsome Sperling twins in Split Images.  Maybe she needs to read my non-fiction book coming out soon:  How to Find the Right Doctor:  Tips from a Healthcare Credentialing Expert.  That's right! I, Dilsa Saunders Bailey, am a healthcare credentialing expert.  You will be able to buy it in Kindle, Nook, or Print.  Stay tuned to get the tips you need to find the right doctor for you.

In the meantime, catch up with The Sperlings at the latest book event on Saturday, December 8th in Atlanta.

Stepping Stones of Faith

Did you know that you can follow the path of faith one stone at a time?  I’m just figuring that out myself.  What is it that I am referring to, the stepping stones?  The stepping stones are the little obstacles, the hills, the detours, the indecisions, and the tests we encounter in life.  My faith in the God-governed universe has been growing one step at a time.  And as I step from the first stone to the next, that faith grows stronger.  What is even more intriguing is as I take a step (action) my life gets better.  I see things clearer.  I comprehend more of what I hear, and I see and hear the relevancy as I never have before helping me to make better decisions.

As I mature in faith, I revel in its reality and the comfort of knowing that faith isn’t the result of some wishful thinking, some mirage, or myth.  I now know that seeing may lead to believing, but believing before seeing is faith.  Here is hoping you are on the same journey toward a stronger faith, one stepping stone at a time.  There is no limit to faith.

The Power of Commitment

One doesn’t experience commitment until you enter a room filled with businesswomen whose goal is to learn, network, and uplift each other.  That is the type of commitment I experienced this past Thursday at the Women’s Leadership Exchange held in Atlanta.  The program offered a variety of tools to establish and maintain your own business.  I learned so much as I walked away more stoked than ever to move forward with my entrepreneurial goals.  The taste, the smell, and the vision of freedom are just a few days, few hours away.  I can feel it as the power of commitment rises within me.

Andrea March, one of the co-founders, should be applauded for starting this network supporting women entrepreneurs.   This organization not only helps businesswomen connect with businesswomen, its philosophy is to help us expand that connection by helping each other.  We were encouraged to network to find three people who could help us and three people that we could help.  What a dynamic ‘Pay It Forward’ model.  Along with Andrea, we were introduced to an award-winning entrepreneur and journalist who happens to be the CEO of SBTV.com and who shared three growth secrets we wouldn’t learn in business school.  I won’t tell; you have to visit her website.  But, believe me, I took as many notes as I could and found her information to be very insightful.

All of the speakers were great, including guests who were there to receive very special awards.  These Women’s Leadership Exchange awards were bestowed upon some very accomplished women.  Their stories inspired me to never, ever think of giving up on my dreams.  And, I won’t.  I am putting everything I learned last week to use already, especially the information about branding and social media.  That is why I find this type of networking so valuable.  If you are like me and in the process of building a business, keep an eye out for this conference in your city.  It’s worth it.  However, if you are like me and have limited funding with big ideas, don’t let it deter you.  Find three people that can help you and find three people you can help.  Businesses aren’t really built alone.  There are resources available.  All you need is the power of commitment.