Stood Still Long Enough

After all these years, I have realized that though it is okay to want to be a perfectionist, it is even better to accept God’s perfection as is.  There is no reaching that level in a human existence.  That’s a hard lesson.  I know it is for me who had been living and doing at full-throttle with an overloaded plate for so long.  It was inevitable that again, I would crash and burn.  This last time, I had to wonder why.   What was the insane purpose of trying to do everything and trying to be everything to everybody?  The answer, there was no purpose other than one that was selfish.  Selfish in thinking that it was all possible and that it all revolved around me.

In response to this awakening, I began to study to find out my true purpose, one that didn’t center on self.  And boy, did I learn more than I wanted to acknowledge about me.    I won’t go into the details, but only that it has been a conscious struggle to make a decision on the next direction I want to take in my life.  Sure, part of it is how I will be remembered.  What legacy will I leave when I transition from this plane?  Will it merely be about what I wanted and what I achieved for my personal satisfaction?  Who else will be the better for it? 

An answer is slowly developing, much like anything that develops in life.  Life is a series of moments and reflections, of actions taken and no actions taken.   For a few months, I stepped back to be still and to stand down so that my thoughts could gather cohesively and constructively.  How joyful that became.  One day as I was sitting back listening to the sounds of nature in my backyard, it hit me.  My mind was blank.  I was not worried about the list of things I had to complete.  I wasn’t thinking about bills, or relationships I thought could improve.  I was just sitting there, being silent and just being human. 

In today’s world, we brag about being busy or overloaded.  We are addicted to our work lives, social media, and being in the spotlight.  We seek the material with zest and with zeal.  I think along the way, being human has been put in the background, left to the future termed as ‘one day.’  Standing still was a reminder to me to be present always.  Be thankful for the past experiences, the lessons that created us.  And to be thankful for the future, which will bring the new opportunities to experience joy and happiness.  But, if you want to really succeed in life to never forget to be present and to focus on the joy and the happiness already at hand. 

Dilsa Saunders Bailey is the author of The Sperling Chronicles, a romantic suspense series about a deadly family feud fueled by a love triange and a woman's scorn.  Dilsa Saunders Bailey's shares her thoughts in the blog simplydilsa.  Her books can be purchased on Amazon.